date night

so M and i went to romeo and juliet at the new york city ballet... it was meant to be a date night but M got wild after my conversation with H. H is my mom's friend and an older, much older man and apparently my talking to him is inappropriate.

the conversation just took the wrong turn when i blew up about her disgusting thought process.

it does seem though that i enjoyed the daddy'esq conversation because it's nice to have that male older non sexual figure around once in a while. same reasons why i enjoy talking to my uncle... it's nice to have that perspective, a different point of view. the debate between M and me took a turn for the ugly and she spent the entire car ride to the city alternating between apologies and general silence. it was awful.

in another life, i would have torn the ballet tickets, told her to f-off and leave me alone... this time, we went to the ballet together. we sat there for 3 hours next to each other. and somewhere after the curtain was raised for the second time and before the applause she held my hand in the most cliché-d of manners and i let it go. i do a lot of letting go - is it me? do i have some kind of issue with imperfections? me, the same me that if filled entirely with imperfect behavior, irrational thoughts and illogical explanations.

enough of the whingy talk, we ended the evening at minetta tavern... it seems, fun restaurants always put me in a better mood. it certainly got us talking again and letting bygones be bygones. my patience is wearing thin though and i wonder if being in like with M means that i don't have to work at checking my attitude... i guess my question is, do people in relationships enjoy each other's company for real? and before you answer yes, think about it... if it weren't for the s-e-x word, would you really like each other? i want to make sure i continue to do so and i'll fight my bad behavior all the way.