bali via dublin

although i believe my mother wants everything that is sweet and lovely for me, she pulls one of these every couple of weeks. this time, she wants..no, requires me to go to dublin and i would rather be in bali. in fact, i have just confirmed tickets to bali for N's wedding. i am so excited to go that i cannot believe the mother may pull this one right now.

these are tough times because i am questioning a mother's love for her child's wellbeing and happiness. i believe i am ready to do something violent.

in fact, i am wishing for an anger issue - the one that allows me to make compulsive irrational decision in a fit of rage.

god i am so jealous of people who have fits of rage.

to punish myself i have agreed to have brunch with my sorority sisters. i might play a game of straws with myself tomorrow to see if this brunch is a good idea. or i may accidentally sleep in so i might be able to miss brunch.

such a good idea!

second stage

the bucket list for 2010 included spending some quality time with quality friends. this list actually began sometime in the summer of 2009 but as all things me, fashionably late is the way to go.

anyway, so before i launch in to my quality friend date with my high school best friend B (i will often refer to A, D and R in the same vein) let me try to remember my bucket list - ignore the shift in writing style - this list is a cut/paste situation from my ramblings

1. get a real job, one that you like and one that actually pays you in real time. steady inflow of money is imperative. money, after all, is the great enabler.

2. enjoy where you live, make it your own. don't be afraid to own furniture. everything you buy can be discarded and everything that is discarded can be replaced. it is not the end of the world.

3. do not sweat the small stuff, for real. try to remember what it used to be like before when you really didn't give a shit. go back to that euphoric state of mind. without drugs.

4. if you want it, do it/get it/live it. it's not worth questioning yourself too much.

okay i know i had more than 4 points on that list and it's really sad that i can't remember any more or find other ramblings. maybe in my later posts - keep an eye out for them.

so, B and i headed out to mr and mrs fitch on second stage. as always, we were brilliantly late and didn't care. the usher however was a doll and allowed us inside anyway.

we got crappy standing room and then crappier seats but i quite loved it. i actually really liked being there with B.

my mom always told me to be in relationships where the other person loves / likes you more than you do them. this particular statement has been a driving force for most of my relationships. in this case however, i definitely love B more than she loves me. in fact, she loves my cousin, my dog, my gf, my next door neighbor more than she loves me.

therefore i am pathetic.

however, i try every single time to get some kind of desperate girl validation from B. she was really really smart in high school and i probably suffer from some kind of inferiority complex. hmm, someday i shall share my blog with my therapist and he will pay attention to all these self diagnosis. someday i shall get a therapist and he will be a 'he' because i think women shrinks are bad news. am i sexist?

i am sexist. shit.

rustom barkington

i am absolutely, completely, cherry on top besotted with my darling puppy. i didn't think it was possible after molly to feel this. sometimes i call him molly, but then all puppies have that simplicity to their loving and i am a sucker!

rustom had his first visit to the vet and dr. mann was top notch. rusty has made a dog person out of A, i just hope mom will feel the same way when she comes here.

meanwhile, i have my hands full with rustom.. he is far from wee-wee pad trained, he is scared of the outside but he is curious and wants to know.. slowly. i fear i might squeeze him with my overzealousness.

i can now officially delete the bookmark folder on my chrome called dog-hunt.. i have my puppy and he is perfect.

friends with an ex

common consensus seems that you cannot be friends with your ex.

that's just... plain stupid and strange.

i remain in excellent (albeit sometimes volatile) terms with my past relationships, good, bad and fugly though their times, they, well, they have the dirt on me.. and i sure don't want to forget it.

so in an attempt to get M (gf) on the same page as me... we trekked, 7+ hours to the end of the world to meet her ex... 7 hours one way mind you. yes i did get lost. no, i didn't want to ask for directions. yes, we were both 'tards.

disclaimer about ex: seemingly sweet indian girl with strange behavioral tendencies that involve M tearing up with guilt and M's mom proclaiming that P (M's ex) is vile.

you're right in assuming no one in india actually thinks there is such a thing as 'lesbian relationships'. i believe the appropriate term used is ... wait for it... "phase"

anyway, i am trying to figure out what i think of P, or better yet, do i consider P at all.

this isn't really about P and P's eternal growth.

it's more of a - i really don't want my gf to be guilt-ridden about shit like this - when really, there is nothing to be guilty about. relationships end... some end in a bad way. it's in the past. that's the cool thing about the past... you can just allow it.

en route to P's place, M and i stopped for a drink (water obviously) and chanced on this pet place and there was this white ball of snow-love, our puppy, not wanted and not loved and not needed... how.. tell me how is that possible? so naturally, we took him and we have a puppy... he is without name for now. but not for too long. YAY

date night

so M and i went to romeo and juliet at the new york city ballet... it was meant to be a date night but M got wild after my conversation with H. H is my mom's friend and an older, much older man and apparently my talking to him is inappropriate.

the conversation just took the wrong turn when i blew up about her disgusting thought process.

it does seem though that i enjoyed the daddy'esq conversation because it's nice to have that male older non sexual figure around once in a while. same reasons why i enjoy talking to my uncle... it's nice to have that perspective, a different point of view. the debate between M and me took a turn for the ugly and she spent the entire car ride to the city alternating between apologies and general silence. it was awful.

in another life, i would have torn the ballet tickets, told her to f-off and leave me alone... this time, we went to the ballet together. we sat there for 3 hours next to each other. and somewhere after the curtain was raised for the second time and before the applause she held my hand in the most cliché-d of manners and i let it go. i do a lot of letting go - is it me? do i have some kind of issue with imperfections? me, the same me that if filled entirely with imperfect behavior, irrational thoughts and illogical explanations.

enough of the whingy talk, we ended the evening at minetta tavern... it seems, fun restaurants always put me in a better mood. it certainly got us talking again and letting bygones be bygones. my patience is wearing thin though and i wonder if being in like with M means that i don't have to work at checking my attitude... i guess my question is, do people in relationships enjoy each other's company for real? and before you answer yes, think about it... if it weren't for the s-e-x word, would you really like each other? i want to make sure i continue to do so and i'll fight my bad behavior all the way.

staunch and sexy

i decided to follow new york calendar of events and headed to the boat show around mid-day... i wasn't expecting too much from it - javits center and all that but boy was i surprised.

M and i drove in, couldn't find parking but then found a spot on 9th ave... we strolled, laughed and joked about everything boat... we pretend drove/rode jet skis, hung out on beautiful decks that were made for champagne, had coffee in plastic cups and worst ever pizza slices

we then drove back home and snuggled before i left to see IC at raines law room... truly raines has become my favoritest cocktail lounge in the world. people of the virtual world, you need to absolutely go to raines in nyc if you're ever here - try describing what you like and let the bartenders do their magic.

poohbear & bumblebee

it's true, those are the coochie-coo names for my sister (N) and brother-in-law (P) so much so that i received an e-vite for P's birthday from N and her email id is bumblebee! yes, i barfed a little.

so the week went by in a blur, i have some faint memory of walking up to my other cousin's apartment opposite the empire state... taking a taxi to providence, rushing out in the cold... and then many texts announcing a change in venue. Ak wanted a bollywood night and do it circa 1980, it only resulted in N hating me..forever. she walked in to the upper level of a times square dance hall and ignored me. that's right, read it again, times square dance hall. *shudder*

why does she hate me, it's still unclear but it definitely has something to do with poohbear not wanting to be at a times square dance hall.

do you blame him?!

anyway, alcohol poisoning, yogurt indigestion, gorgeous skyline, cuddled blanket and 5 aspirins later... i was finally going home. M, spent the entire night shaking her head.

the week went by in a blur of activities, i don't even know what happened.. i don't have it on my calendar and most definitely don't have any memory.

work, i know there has been a lot of it, but does work fry your memory that much?

now that's just wrong!

midnight child

we trudged to the city in disgusting wet weather, gross shoes, demanding roads

2010 doesn't seem another year, i am still 1996... i am so old!

she is a vision when she looks away and i am so smitten

and hungover - very - hungover

we were home around 2am. early night by normal standards

also got a chance to see A's new boy last night - sweet, sweet heart.

i think he may be the right one for her finally - head on his shoulders and not awkward, he can keep his own. i like him.

desilicious is the way to bring it in. this post must be truncated, the head is definitely pounding.